Nahid Ahmed | Participant 9

The butterflies you get,everytime that particular persons looks back at you.

The twitch in your stomach.


It all made sense the very time my eyes laid on Him.


But I wish I believed In US and not the stares of the society---


And that beautiful autumn day,with the maple leaves caressing the ground,you walked down that very ordinary street.And who knew that would be the place I would wait everyday to get a glimpse of the very beautiful man who I still have a place for,in my heart.

I gathered all my courage and finally spoke to you after an eternity of only watching you walk down so gracefully.

I should've stopped there,but it was too hard to not see the man who all of a sudden captured all my thoughts.

You smiled and I could feel those butterflies everyone talks about.The day I held your soft hands,I wish I could tell how exactly nervous I was.We kissed and I felt the world had actually stopped,just like the ones shown in some cheesy romantic movies.

But that day when I went back to my place,feeling all happy,I could feel stares pierching through me.

The stares of disgust.

Like I was some kind of dirt.

They said it was all about lust ,that a man can only love a woman and never a man.

But what was all those times when I only wanted to look at him? Or hold his hand?

When all I just wanted was him to be close to me?

Was it all lust? I knew better.


But I believed.I believed what they said.

I stopped seeing you,

Because I was scared of what they said,that you would leave me the very time you get a beautiful woman.

But It was all me.You begged me to believe in us and yet

I left you.

I wish I fought for you.

I wish I fought the society,where they say a man or a woman cannot love the same sex.

I only wish.


And years after these,I still wait in that ordinary street only to get a glimpse of the very beautiful man who yet holds a place in my heart.

 

Written By: Nahid Ahmed





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