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Biswajita Dandapat | Participant 40

The qualities I find beautiful

are almost never physical

she was the exception

she has everything

and when I look at her

it's like I'm seeing a woman

for the first time every time

I feel the absence of her all around me. in the spaces she has been and in places we have never been. i haven't had a hug since august and i kind of don't want one either. i dont want someone else's embrace to take the place of where you left me. she is no longer here but i find comfort in knowing there is no one between your lips and mine. your hugs mean the world to me, they are the safest place i've ever been. you still keep me grounded, amidst the uncertainty of this pandemic, of this world, you keep me grounded. i hope one day, we find our way back.

Every time I think of you, I think of all the possible ways I would invent to bare you with my mouth. I'm a precipice to commit suicide, but calm, I know how to revive you with every breath of my whisper in your ear, while you leave I know how to make you come back. The vertigo of our looks wobble us in such a way that we lose our knowledge among the ecstasy of your tongue's saliva towards mine. Sign a covenant so that your hands wouldn't let go of my breasts in the imminent fall into the hole hidden between your legs. We've played losing our minds under the imagination of our desires condemned to pleasure. I licked your wounds and felt you healed between my lips. You've wiped my tears with your fingertips, and you've felt what it was like to save me, before I lost myself. In short, every night of sex with you is like starting over with the lesson learned, and knowing that living in your eyes will make at least that night, it will have been worth dreaming in your embrace.


Written By : Biswajita Dandapat

Instagram Handle: @biswajitadandapt

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