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A REASON TO LIVE |

There he stood near the sea shore, illuminated by the captivating moonlight; with the crashing waves hitting his feet, everytime they came towards the beach, before retreating again. That one particular memory, from five years back, playing inside his head like a broken record, while the light salty breeze caressed his skin, leaving goosebumps at their wake and decorating his face with a tint of light pink.


He chuckled bitterly, staring at the horizon, remembering how he stood at the exact same place, five years ago, ready to end his life. Smiling sadly, he looked at his feet, as if he was ashamed of himself, for thinking and acting like a coward in past.


Yes, he wanted to end his life for good, after loosing every single thing he ever lived for - his family. There was no denying the fact that the accident that took them away was terrible. He was still not able to absorb the fact that he survived with minor injuries. But , was it a good thing? Or was it not?

Everyone called it God's grace. But only he knew what he was feeling at that time. The guilt of surviving was killing him, every single day, from inside. Ending things probabaly sounded peaceful as compared to living with the burden of being the only one who survived.


And he would have had; if not for her.

His eyes shone with an unknown emotion recalling her. What was the feeling- adoration? respect?gratefulness?...love?

Even after all these years, he still couldn't tell. Or maybe he was confused, as what to call it. Something inside him stirred remembering how she pulled him away from the water, from behind. How he turned around irritatingly, ready to lash out at the person, only to come face to face with a pair of deep, brown eyes on the most beautiful face he had ever seen, paired with the most enchanting, thick, dark brown or maybe black locks.


" Why are you doing this?", was all she asked. Her voice was laced with a anger, but also with curiosity and concern at the same time.


"I have no reason to live.", he managed to reply with his heavy heart, trying to suppress his anger; controlling his tears.


"That's it!?", he couldn't help, but notice a hint of amusement in her reply. His eyes became wide like saucers.To say that he was shocked would have been an understatement. The storm of sorrow inside him died down and immediately got replaced with confusion, which did nothing but fueled his anger.


"What are yo-!", he was adruptly cut off by her hand pulling him forward by his arm. Before he could register what was happening, he felt an arm snake around his shoulders and within a fraction of second there was a Polaroid camera in front of their faces.



'Ka-chick', soon the sound of the camera shutter was heard, beautifully echoing in the entire sand-covered landscape, breaking the lingering silence surrounding them.


He jumped at the sound. The flash startling him like a deer caught in the headlight while trying to cross the road during midnight. He totally freaked out. Yanking her hand from his shoulders, he jerked away from the girl, and carefully observed her next move. And they were surprisingly normal. She didn't seemed like some witch to him. Once the photo came out, she took it in her hands smiling and started shaking it, to make the picture visible. And all he did was stand there and watch. It was almost as if he was paralyzed, as if his feet were fixed there, too numb to move.


After almost half a minute, she took out a small, faded, wooden box from her white bag, which he never noticed that she was carrying until that very moment. She locked the photo inside the wooden box, with a tiny golden lock and forwarded the matching golden and equally ting key towards him saying," Just live until you return it to me one day."


He didn't move an inch.Her demand sounded so absurb that for a good minute he stood there, trying to absorb, or more like trying to believe her words. He was almost convinced that he heard it all wrong; that he was depressed to the point, he was hallucinating. But the moment she took his hand, which was hanging loosely at his side, and kept the key on his palm closing his fist again, that he realised that he wasn't. However, he couldn't ignore how her hands felt like feathers, brushing against his skin but sending almost zero sense of being touched to his brain.


And with that, she ran off. Her hair bouncing as she leapt, and a smile playing on her lips.


All of it sounds completely unreal. But, here he was today. After five whole years, alive and breathing. He did lived all these years to return the key to her; to open the box with her; to see the photograph and laugh at his own expression in it with her..........to thank her. He did lived for the reason she gave to him. He did.


And just like all these past years, he kept his tradition, which he started two years after the incident; alive. Tradition of visiting the beach, on the same date, same time every year in the hopes of finding the mysterious girl. To get another glimpse of that burst of happiness and hope among the pangs of pain and misery.


A tap on his shoulder compelled him to halt his walk down his memory lane. He came out of his trance, which he didn't knew he was in and spun around to come face to face with an old fisherman. His appearance was ragged with his dirty and wet clothes and his hat, partly showing his messy hair. His eyes showed tiredness, probably from a long day at sea, in his attempt to get a good catch.


"What are you doing here at this hour, young man?", the firsherman asked him.


"I am looking for someone sir.", It was all he could tell the old man. After all, he didn't even knew her name. The fisherman let out a hearty laugh, probabaly surprised by his reply. "Is that so? Then maybe i can help. I have lived in this area, near these roaring shores for decades now." It wasn't an offer, he knew it. He knew that the old man was just trying to joke with him. Having someone roam around the beach, during such odd hours wasn't something common for an old man like him witness often, so he was probably trying to lighten the mood and make him leave. Maybe for his own peace of mind.


But even then, he just couldn't let go of this chance. The possibility of the old man knowing about her, for he had lived there all his life sounded too good to be true. There was no way he was going to let this opportunity silde. He hastily moved forward and held both of the fisherman's hands in his own and with am almost begging tone requested, "Sir. Is that so?? Then please help me find her. You probably know her. Its been years sir. Please, I am begging you!!"

The old man freaked out at his sudden request. But, he eventually agreed seeing the pleading look in his eyes. And so he started describing the girl to the old man, who according to him was the Mr. Know-it- all of the beach.


However, as he went on describing the girl, the old man's expression which was once confused, amused yet calm, turned into a horrified one. His face went pale, almost as if his entire body was drained of blood. He began gasping for air. His body shivered and his lips started quivering as he struggled to form inaudible words.

"What's wrong sir? Are you alrig-".

" The one who drowned herself here at the beach!!?", The fisherman asked, almost yelled, petrified.


As soon as the old man's words sank in, he went numb. All the sounds were cut off, the waves, the birds, the old man who was shouting frantically in front of him, the entire world was. The old man held his shoulders and shook him, throwing God knows how many questions at him.


"When?", He managed to croak out, in a blank robotic voice. His eyes were devoid of all the hope, he had a while ago. To the old man, who had now stopped screaming; he seemed like a lifeless puppet, whose strings were moving on the winds' accord. Fisherman couldn't help but feel bad for him.


"Five years back. On this same day. It was in broad daylight. Dozens saw her walking aimlessly towards the sea. They saw her, and everyone assumed her to be one of the locals who had come for a swim. But unfortunately, no one saw the helplessness and the pain in her eyes."


And just like that, his grip on the tiny piece of metal, which he had been holding securely in his hands, for the past five years, loosened, making it fall. Finally his knees gave up, and a sob escaped his mouth, which soon got accompained by the tears which were threatening to fall all this time. He looked at his side, where the key fell from his hands, only to find the area empty.


The key never landed on the sand. It disappeard midair. Or maybe, it wasn't there to fall and land and leave a pit upon hitting the grainy, dusty land to begin with. His moved his hands in the sand, in hopes of finding it, but there was nothing.


It was almost as if, the reason for which he existed till now never really existed.


Amulya Tiwari

Guidelines for the competition : https://www.fanatixxpublication.com/write-o-mania-2023




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