The guilt I didn't earn | Shailly Sanoriya
It wasn’t the perfect friendship. It went through all the ups & downs. But it was old like an old photograph of childhood, it may be blurred, dirty & even ugly but it’s precious & when it’s lost it’s always painful.
We have been friends from the third grade. We never even allowed anyone else sit beside us in school. From the gossip of school to the heartbreaks, from the craziest fantasy to the deepest insecurity, every blunder we made with tiniest detail, we had shared everything. We were a rare bond of two people who could actually understand each other with no judgments. We had lived almost two decades with each other. We had witnessed each other’s hard work & experienced the journey of two silly girls turning into the women with ambitions. We often had something to complain about each-other just like normal human beings, but it never been enough to give up on our friendship. Years passed and our bond became precious to us.
We both got so occupied with the chaos of daily life that it became quite rare to meet in person.
But after so many failed plans, we finally decided to meet outside.
The comfort of meeting somebody, whom you don’t have to be prepared for in any manner, is something rare. We roamed in the streets, shopped, ate a lot and talked even more than that.
I was excited to share something with her from a long time but instead of telling her directly I gave her the task to “Spot the change on my face”. After so many wrong guesses such as “changed shape of eyebrows”, “new makeup” and so on. she gave up & then I told her about "all what happened."
It happened a few months ago and it was first like a hope to me, then puzzle, then trauma & finally proven to be a boon. I always had been bothered by a mole on my cheek like so badly that I even could cut it off if it wouldn’t leave a mark. As I was growing up it was getting bigger right beside my nose & can be seen from almost every angle. I used to hide it with makeup and in pictures with camera filters.
One day when I had taken a half day leave & joined the office in the mid of the lunch break, I didn’t know I was going to find a solution for this. I met Riya, a very talkative & bubbly new employee from another department had become a good company to hang out with. As time passes, we started sharing some of our personal lives and then I asked her if she could suggest a good yet affordable dermatologist who is good with removing mole & freckles.
What she said sounded like a melody to my ears with the metal beats. She suggested a home remedy which could remove any mole within two days as she claimed. I was so keen about it, that without giving a second thought I impulsively decided to try it on the coming weekend.
During these two days it was burning and paining like hell, also it became bigger in size. Riya just advised me to wait & let it work. On Monday morning I looked into the mirror and the mole was gone but left a scar there, that was paining so badly and got swelled. I was so worried so I called Riya she said it’ll be fine in no time. I was looking into the mirror thinking I was an idiot to trust that remedy blindly, cursing myself for my impulsive decision. It turned out to be a wound on the face. All the depressive thoughts were going on in my mind and I became numb with no clue what is going to happen next.
I decided to wait for a few more days before approaching the dermatologist & I never felt so lucky before, as the mark was almost vanished. I reached office after 6 days and everybody was able to notice some change on my face but couldn’t guess what that was. Then I asked a random colleague if I was looking okay & she said ‘even better’. That’s when I finally felt relieved & I rushed to Riya, hugged her & thanked her for this super awesome remedy.
I remained excited about the wonder just happened to me that I used to ask everyone if they could spot the change on my face. And of course, I was super excited to share this with my best friend as well.
That was all I told her. I was so happy with the final result of the remedy that I might have skipped the trauma I went through until it my skin turns out to be normal.
Surprisingly, she behaved exactly the way I did when Riya told me about this, as she also had a few moles on her face but bigger than mine. Coincidentally she was about to visit a dermatologist to get all her moles removed with surgery but then she came to know, how pocket friendly that remedy was, she also decided to give it try.